I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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