are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
