i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
