How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
