You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
