A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
wat bout pragnant strippers??
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
