I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
