So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
