can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
