She is in my trunk
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Just puked most of my soul out..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
