New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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