But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
