He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You dont lie about slip and slides
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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