Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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