Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Randomize
