so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
