Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Randomize
