A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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