found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
