Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
