Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
