have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
