I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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