I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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