I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
