I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
