you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
