worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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