Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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