Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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