Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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