I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
