My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
