yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Quick, to the slutcave!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
