You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
