i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
