so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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