How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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