I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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