Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
dude i'm inner monologue high
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
