thus making me awesome and them whores
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
