it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So apparently I’m into choking now
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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