Buhtt sex?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
