I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm both gender and math confused
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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