Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
