I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
