I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
