oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
