your parents love me but you hate me
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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