I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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