And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
